some ramblings and thoughts in midst of a seemingly meaningless world

Wow, it’s been forever since I’ve posted something…this always tends to happen! But anyhow, I’m on summer break now and I must say, it is so relaxing! I spend my days sleeping in, tanning, exercising when I can, and basically just doing nothing much. I do feel unproductive though..like I’m wasting my days away, but whatever..it’s summertime and when else do I really get to just waste my days away? I have been doing some bitchwork for my mom though…changing all of our bills to paperless, changing the mailing address (since we moved) of pretty much everything, and other very boring but must-be-done things for my mom since she’s busy and I, quite frankly, am not.
The only not so happy thing about my break thus far is that I am still sick. I got bronchitis back in early April (I think)..and it went away when finals time came rolling around, but once finals were over, it came back again. It increasingly got worse as I came home and I did go see the doctors again, who prescribed me antibiotics and other meds, but nothing is really seeming to work. So I still have a nasty cough and can’t sleep that well at night… It is definitely detracting from my otherwise perfect summer vacay..
This summer I plan on living by a new summer regime: getting tan, getting fit, and eating healthy. So far i have done all three, but the fact that I am sick is also keeping me from reaching my full potential (haha)! Well okay..also the fact that I am lazy and I really don’t like exercising but have to force myself to. My sister is such a good motivator… I go when she goes for the most part. This kind of summer regime is something I have wanted to do/told myself to do the past couple summers but never actually followed through. Well, this year is a year of change. I am actually doing things I have told myself to do, putting my words into action. So how can I not put into action my summer regime?? It seems only sensible that I do that too!
I suppose I may just as well recap my first year in college, now that it’s all over. I must say: I have not been this happy in a very long time. I absolutely love Berkeley and am in love with my school…When I first got there or was preparing myself to go, I definitely had my doubts. I knew not to expect too much, because I’ve learned that having too high of expectations means getting let down when things don’t meet my expectations. So, I went into college with yes, some expectations, but not expecting everything to change. However, like I mentioned before, I put my words and thoughts into action. This past year, I got involved with things I care about and did what I’ve always wanted to do. First semester, I joined CalPIRG’s Campus Climate Challenge campaign. I went to Washington D.C. and attended the largest youth conference in history for global warming and lobbied Senators and Representatives. On campus, I did grassroots work. I also joined a business environmental consulting group, the perfect mix of two things I am interested in. Second semester, my friend Amber and I started our own campaign on hunger and homelessness, with a focus on West Oakland. We recruited campaign members and ran the largest CalPIRG campaign on our campus. Okay, so we didn’t do as much as I’d hoped to, but that will change next semester.
Friendship-wise, I definitely made a couple of new friends that I intend to keep for a while. I learned to be comfortable around them and, this time around, my friends and I actually have some fundamental things in common!
Academically, I think it’s about as I expected. It was pretty hard for the most part, and I don’t think I’ve ever studied as much as I did for my 2nd semester finals as I’ve ever studied in my life. My classes turned out okay; they weren’t amazing, but they were about what I expected.
But my point is that this year, I did pretty much everything I’ve wanted to do. I got involved, I did relatively well in my classes, I made great new friends, I learned how to study hard and play hard, and I finally am happy with the person I’ve become. I am no longer the brooding girl who sat at home wishing her life were different or wishing she’d done things differently; instead, I became the girl who went out there and MADE her life different and DID things differently. If there is anything I learned this past year, it is that I am in charge of my life and I can choose the kind of person I want to be: actively seeking, changing, and adapting is the best way to go.