Living in Orange County

For the longest time, I believed that I could make the world a better place. That I could accomplish some amazing feat to aid poverty and those who are constantly starving and unemployed. I live in fucking Orange County. One of the richest communities in the world. But there is so much more outside of this little O.C. bubble we like to stay in. So much more out there. I go to Peru and I see all these tourist locations. The nice, beachy places with the beautiful 5-star hotels and overpriced dining areas. And then we drive inland of Lima and you see all of these huts. Houses without roofs. Graffitti on almost every wall, trying to convince people to vote for certain political leaders who would give the people more jobs. And this is just Lima, Peru. Peru. A country that some people don’t even know the location of and know much less about the social situation there. I see all these things, and I want to help them. I want to make this world a place where it is not so horribly off-balanced with the millionaires and the penniless beggars. I want to do something amazing with my career to help the world and do all of these idealistic things. And then reality strikes and I am reminded of the duties that I’m going to have as a grown-up. I’m going to have to deal with unforeseen circumstances thrown my way. I’m going to have to take care of my parents when they’re older. I’m going to face the problems of paying my bills and my taxes. Amongst all of that, I want to step outside my own damn bubble and do something that’s not for myself. But is it possible? Honestly? I said before, it is an ideal. An ideal that I will run my own company, make lots of money, and do something with my money. Something good. Is it possible to balance my much liberal views with the much conservative side of most business people? Am I really going to be able to think for others in addition to worrying about my own life? I’m so tired of living here sometimes. No, my family doesn’t suck. No, my house isn’t horrible. No, my friends aren’t crappy. But yes, people can be so close-minded. Yes, I tend to be the only one sometimes who does not agree with the general public. But I do understand that this happens wherever I’ll go. People will not always agree with me (in fact, most of them are going to be completely opposite from me). People will remain Christian. People will remain close-minded. They’re going to live their entire lives believing that they’re entirely correct when in fact.. they’re not?

Hahah what a bold claim. We were talking about reality & perception in Lit the other day, and I got a-thinkin’. There are so many things that I am completely against, and so many other aspects of life that I am so sure that I’ve got to be right. I’ve reached a point where I am so sure nothing else could be it. But all that amounts to is my own perception of life. My perception of life may be completely “wrong,” but then again, who’s to judge? It’s kind of scary to think that the way you see things in life can be a huge joke. That what you thought was right and real actually isn’t. But we really will never know. So I guess I’ve concluded that as long as I’m set about my own views, there can be no one to tell me they’re wrong, because we don’t know if the “right” is really right…if that makes any sense.