experiencing life through an always-nuanced worldview.

I miss taking courses that make me think beyond the subject matter to larger applications within my life, namely philosophy courses.. More specifically, I miss my existential philosophy that made me question the very being of my existence and purpose and broadened my outlook and perspective on life. On that note, I’ve recently been exploring the depths of my mind the rediscover the takeaways of those classes, and have come to a resolution:

If I’m going to talk about the active nihilist lifestyle I live for myself, if I’m going to live my life supposedly under the philosophy that life has infinite interpretations, if I’m going to have a way of life that allows me to discover new suns and seas as they are opened to me (or rather, as I open them myself), a life colored with my own meanings and interpretations as I make them to be…

then I think it is time to embrace myself as an individual, to trust my gut feeling as I see fit, and to truly and fully live the life I want to live, not one I think others want me to live, nor one I live for other people.

As I work towards becoming the best individual I can be, seeking to reach the potential I have, I think it is important that I realize what it means to be an authentic individual, especially within my own worldview. For me, being an authentic individual means making life decisions and life choices that I want to — so long as it does not interfere with my larger life-goal, whatever that may be. I think that as of right now, my life goal is one that is career-focused. So while what I see from a “big-picture” point of view involves pursuing a career I love and taking steps to get there, it is also taking part in the “smaller-picture” of things: doing what makes me happy, what allows me to live in the moment, and what lets me to enjoy my youth and undergraduate college years while I can. More importantly, it is me feeling comfortable with who I am and what I do, realizing that I should not feel the need to please people around me all the time –that at the end of the day, I need to stop worrying so much about what others think of me. Because they are not me. It is not worth it for me to make life decisions or change the way I live my life to please someone else who is not living the life I live.

I think it’s taken me so long to come to this realization, that now that I have, it is a scary and quite uncertain new world to be in. Regardless, it’s a “new sun” I am eager to explore, a “sea” that I am willing to embark on a journey on, and slowly embrace, in hopes that all of this will make me a better person, one who is authentic to the essence of me, to create a life for myself worth living.

Related posts:

• Wow, times have changed..
• Creating and discovering new suns..
• Convictions, interconnectedness, and getting out of despair
• The Greek World
• Attempts at Obtaining the Unobtainable